What a beautifully written and touching piece. Thank you for sharing so much of your inner thoughts as so many of your comments resonated with, and touched, me.
I'm currently living in CA away from nearly all friends and family. I keep reminding myself that being far from them is a trade-off for all the weird and wonderful experiences I get to have while living alone in a new place. I've been on lots of planes the past few months and this was a wonderful reminder of gratitude for all the ways that we continue to keep each other close.
So well said. Two summers ago my dad entered into a coma right before I was about to leave for a long road trip I’d been planning for the better part of a year. I went home and spent time with him immediately before it happened (because there were signs), but when he entered the coma I was hours away because of my job. I felt bad not being with my family in such a moment. And then after he’d been in the coma for a couple days I was faced with the decision of leaving for this trip or staying in case he were to die while in the coma. Since I couldn’t decide my partner at the time encouraged us to just get a few hours down the road - we could always turn around and make it a day trip instead. Of course though, as things go, my dad died that very day when I was a few hours down the road. I was 19, and I ended up making the choice to continue on the road trip. My family was very encouraging in the decision as they had each other, and they were able to postpone the funeral until I got home almost 20 days later. I think about that choice a lot now, and how I was simultaneously devastated and in awe the whole trip. But there was no reason to stay home scared, it could have happened at any time and been just as devastating. Anyway, I think it’s important to live life through the hard times.
Before anything else, I just want to say I am so deeply sorry for your loss, and thank you for your willingness to share such a personal and painful experience. The vulnerability required to put your own experience of tragedy on display in a way that might offer some semblance of relief or guidance to your community of followers is selfless.
Your words, from start to finish in this piece, provided a new perspective and sense of clarity on a subject I grapple with often. Honestly, a lens I didn't realize I needed. The ending elicited full-body goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes. Growing up I could bring myself to tears over the mere thought of, "What if person X dies?" My dad would comfort me in these moments and remind me..."Try not to worry or pour too much energy into the things you can't control." Easy to say, harder to do.
Still today, at 32 I lean on his his words often, and now I presume I'll lean on yours too. "Bad things happen no matter where you are — living closer to something that feels safe doesn’t actually keep you or the people you love any safer." <3
oh man I didn't expect the waterworks to hit this early in the day ;-; this was so beautiful and human and relatable. tysm for sharing <3
hayes- thank you for sharing this beautiful piece. my aunt died from a glioblastoma a little over a year ago. i am sending love to you.
What a beautifully written and touching piece. Thank you for sharing so much of your inner thoughts as so many of your comments resonated with, and touched, me.
I'm currently living in CA away from nearly all friends and family. I keep reminding myself that being far from them is a trade-off for all the weird and wonderful experiences I get to have while living alone in a new place. I've been on lots of planes the past few months and this was a wonderful reminder of gratitude for all the ways that we continue to keep each other close.
So well said. Two summers ago my dad entered into a coma right before I was about to leave for a long road trip I’d been planning for the better part of a year. I went home and spent time with him immediately before it happened (because there were signs), but when he entered the coma I was hours away because of my job. I felt bad not being with my family in such a moment. And then after he’d been in the coma for a couple days I was faced with the decision of leaving for this trip or staying in case he were to die while in the coma. Since I couldn’t decide my partner at the time encouraged us to just get a few hours down the road - we could always turn around and make it a day trip instead. Of course though, as things go, my dad died that very day when I was a few hours down the road. I was 19, and I ended up making the choice to continue on the road trip. My family was very encouraging in the decision as they had each other, and they were able to postpone the funeral until I got home almost 20 days later. I think about that choice a lot now, and how I was simultaneously devastated and in awe the whole trip. But there was no reason to stay home scared, it could have happened at any time and been just as devastating. Anyway, I think it’s important to live life through the hard times.
Before anything else, I just want to say I am so deeply sorry for your loss, and thank you for your willingness to share such a personal and painful experience. The vulnerability required to put your own experience of tragedy on display in a way that might offer some semblance of relief or guidance to your community of followers is selfless.
Your words, from start to finish in this piece, provided a new perspective and sense of clarity on a subject I grapple with often. Honestly, a lens I didn't realize I needed. The ending elicited full-body goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes. Growing up I could bring myself to tears over the mere thought of, "What if person X dies?" My dad would comfort me in these moments and remind me..."Try not to worry or pour too much energy into the things you can't control." Easy to say, harder to do.
Still today, at 32 I lean on his his words often, and now I presume I'll lean on yours too. "Bad things happen no matter where you are — living closer to something that feels safe doesn’t actually keep you or the people you love any safer." <3
Thank you!
You are brilliant and I love you