How I Made My Last Advice Column
And the gummy that led me here
Hello loves,
There’s a chart I made almost two years ago about how I envisioned the ecosystem of Hello Hayes. In its center was Hello Hayes, the advice column, and directly next to the column were the words “me”. I was equating myself with my column. We were one and the same. Hello Hayes, it me.
And it is. When I’m doing my advice writing well, I‘m pulling from my truest source of self. But at the same time, my column isn’t me, and it shouldn’t be, because I am a person and not a product.
It’s a concept I’ve grappled with in 2024. Who am I, what is my relationship to the thing that I make, what am I trying to say, can I express that message in ways outside of what I’m known for? Am I allowed to?
When I launched my YouTube channel this time last year, my friend Cleo texted me: YOU GET TO MAKE THE SHOW YOU WANT TO WATCH. I wrote the sentiment on my bulletin board I was so motivated by it.
And then, for most of the year, I did not use that mantra to guide my decisions. I spent more days “motivated” by fear instead.
Then one night in June I had a gummy and an idea.
The idea (or the weeee) hit me so hard I had to film myself talking about it to be sure A) that the idea was real and B) that I didn’t forget it.
Here’s me, gobsmacked, trying to explain it:
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To put my stoned blabber in English…the idea was to make an “advice vlog,” driven by these questions: What does an advice column look like, when it’s not presented as a traditional column? How do I combine my passion for cinematic, personality-driven, well storied YouTube vlogs with the searching and feelings centered writing I do in Hello Hayes? Could I, as the writer and advice columnist, take the audience on a journey with me while I think about and then write my column? While I search for answers in my own life? Hm. Interesting.
I had no idea how to make an “advice vlog,” a term I literally made up, but I had a feeling that I could if I tried.
And last week, I finally tried.
Today I published my very first advice vlog, which documents my process for writing the Hello Hayes column I shared with you on Sunday: Will I Ever Find Love if I Can’t Set Family Boundaries?
I hope it surprises and delights you, just as it did me while making it.
There are a couple of things I’m proud of that I think I can learn from. Sharing because maybe you can learn from them too: