#15: Am I a Burden For Wanting a Big Birthday?

An announcement on Hello Hayes!

Hi everyone, it’s me, Hayes.

This week’s advice column is published as a YouTube video!

I’ve wanted to build my channel since I started making content, but haven’t wanted to bite off more than I can chew. My personal standards for my work are high. There’s also the problem of time. “I don’t have time to start a YouTube channel!” “How do I learn to make YouTube videos when I’m doing everything else?!” Those excuses are valid, but for me, they are excuses. It is true that I don’t want to stretch myself thin, that I require at least nine hours of sleep, that I am a teeny bit particular about the quality of my work.

It’s also true that I have all the time in the world for the things I want to make. You have all the time too. We can rarely do everything at once, but we do have the agency to shift our priorities from time to time, week to week even, to make new things happen.

So instead of using my time to write to Birthday Bash Blues, this week’s writer, I made some notes and filmed my response and then did my best to edit it together in an engaging, Hello Hayes-esque way.

What is the Hello Hayes way, when it comes to a YouTube video? We don’t know yet. But we won’t know unless I try…and share in public…and try again. That’s how I’ve made everything else work, so this should be no different.

I don’t know how often I will make YouTube videos, but I do know that I won’t improve (or become faster) unless I keep doing it.

Happy watching,

Hayes

(P.S. Please subscribe and like the video, and if you really want to be fabulous, leave a comment to let me know you watched. These metrics matter a lot as I build my channel, and I consider you a member of my inner circle…and inner circle peeps support each other!!!! You are the original besties of the Hello Hayes universe. xo)

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This week’s letter:

Hello Hayes,

I am a birthday crier. I find myself every year, July 1st, disappointed and crying, even though I know it’s partially my fault. My birthday falls on what I swear is the most awkward day of the year (sans holiday birthdays, sending my regards to all who have them). 

I realized my birthday was a burden at a young age, as all of my friends went on vacation because of July 4. As I eased into my teen years, and now early adulthood, I still feel that burden, but for a different reason now. 

I would love to be celebrated by my friends, but I feel like it would be such an imposition to ask them to do something for me. I watched all throughout college as my friends would plan surprise parties and events for one another, yet, my birthday rolls around, and I barely get a text message. I have a milestone birthday this year and I would like to celebrate. 

Here is where my question lies. How do you ask your friends to celebrate you in a big way? I would love to do something like a weekend trip or a giant themed party, but am unsure how to even approach that. How do you ask someone to spend their money and possibly PTO to celebrate you, especially right near a holiday? I’ve had friends express that July 4th is their favorite. I feel incredibly conflicted, but I cannot tell if that is a me problem or a them problem. 

Sincerely,

Birthday Bash Blues

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Send me your letters at alexandrahayesrobinson@protonmail.com